I’m depressed as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.
It’s not been a good 81.31736 days, I’ve gotta say. Things’re are going to hell in a handbasket, and what with already being totes cray-cray, I’m struggling.
For months, unless I’m actively distracted by something—and even that’s not a guarantee—I’ve been fixated on a fantasy of ‘escape’. Getting out. Going somewhere better. It’s been the primary free-time focus of the “O” in my OCPD. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that’s wildly unhealthy, but I don’t get to choose. When I finally explained things to Angelbiscuit on Sunday, by means of apologizing for my mindlessness, my spoonless mental cutlery, my worse functionality than usual, she understood. Then she said: ‘so go.’
So I am.
I leave on 15 April to spend a month in the best place I know: Wellington, New Zealand. My goal is to recuperate, rest, heal, practice wellbeing, hoard spoons, and even try to have a nice time. Included with this will be some amount of disconnecting from my life. I may be incommunicado and/or slow to respond, though I don’t intend to disappear completely; I think we both know it’s unlikely I have the strength of will for that. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you want to, I 100% don’t mind; just don’t feel put out if you don’t hear back from me as quickly as you normally would.
Thank you all for being my friends and family. Thank you for your patience and understanding as I go to a windy, rainswept paradise and hope to find what I need. Thank you for being my people. Cheers
thumbnail image:
“Hobbiton - The Shire location” by Maksym Kozlenko (CC-BY-SA-4.0)
